I should have a category just for “Is this thing still on?” posts.

My First Life has been taking precedence lately; I’ve been “keeping time” mostly in Second Life and have several projects on hold or stalled, partly from my own self-created obstacles, but also partly due to time constraints.

A former member of my extended family has been very ill for a long time, and it’s been a very hard time for her and her family indeed. Although we were never close, she’s facing the end of her life. The only thing I’ve been able to do for her was to host one of her adult children one night, send her a bit of homemade soup (made by my dear Rock Fall) and offer warm greetings. We hadn’t spoken in years (she had burned many bridges), but no one deserves to leave this world with nothing but suffering.

I can’t go into details, but here is a recent news story that stands out in my mind in contrast:

In February 2017, Fagan was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. As her condition worsened, Fagan found herself surrounded by friends from every part of her life, providing support.

“So many people reached out to her in the end. It’s because we all felt like we had gotten something from her because she was so giving,” Howard said.
Chicago Tribune: Mary Frances Fagan

Read the whole story; it’s human, personal, heart-warming, yet sad. This woman died surrounded by friends (and family). It has odd parallels to the story now playing out on the far side of my family’s shirt-tails, but except for the dying in hospice part, it has a totally different outcome.

My former relative is surrounded by family and a few friends, but her so-called husband can’t be arsed.

There’s far more, but it’s just so petty, mean, cowardly, and sordid. A full recounting would just highlight how stupid and awful and junior-high drama league it has been for a couple of weeks now.

So watching all that at several removes has been pretty all-consuming; and then I had a very brief health issue this week myself (nothing serious, bad food). There hasn’t been a lot of time for my Second Life hobbies other than keeping an eye on my news feeds.

My obstacles? A stubborn inability to get stuff done because I think it won’t be good enough, and what I think of as “Blender Syndrome.” It’s that deer-in-the-headlights glassy look you get when you’ve watched too many tutorial videos, read too many Second Life Creation/Mesh forum posts, Googled too many old blog posts from 5 years ago (and many Blender versions ago).

However, SL offers a distraction from RL problems – not as an unhealthy place to hide out from them, but as a refuge from the trickle of sad updates that I get now and then via text. At any moment, she could be gone, and all the scattered family members who gathered for the first crisis 2 weeks ago will come back. Or it could be weeks from now, as she literally hangs in the balance.

At some point, her name or initials will be posted in glowing letters on a SL Relay for Life track luminaria. She wouldn’t understand and would roll her eyes at the thought, but it has meaning in my world, if not hers.

So, onward.